A letter to Sir Nicholas Winterton

Dear Sir,

I would like to come to your defence over your comments of there being a "totally different type of people" in standard class train carriages.

You couldn't be more correct sir.

You are certainly poles apart from any person who travels in standard class. I for one, who travel cross country in standard class, find it extremely hard to relate to you at all.

I'm sure if you are reading this (and although I doubt it, I hope you are as any responible MP would), you have worked out the purpose of my email.

Yes, us mere mortals in standard class definitely do have a different outlook on life. And I am glad of this. I highly doubt I could look at myself in the mirror, or any other highly polished surface for that matter, or sleep at night if I shared a similar outlook to you.

As a final point, please don't feel like you are not welcome in standard class. Just please don't expect people not to look over your shoulder or distract you with their mere pathetic existence. Having said this, I'm sure you won't be needing to make such long, arduous journies much longer. That seems to be the nature of 21st century politics, one can no longer voice their opinions on the common, disease-ridden, working class scum with their filthy offspring and their vocal chords which make noise.

All the best for your retirement. (I can recommend some good books to read, films to watch and parks to sit in. Do you play golf? If not you may want to take it up.)

Yours indignantly,
Tim Hodge